something cool happened today

on my way home i realized that i had quite a busy day at my internship (one more day left!!), and that it was also a really good day.

i did a utilization review (to get insurance coverage for one of my patients), ran a group, attended a training on the intersections of diabetes and gastric bypass surgery with eating disorders, facilitated a family meeting, took weights and vitals, ran another group, discharged a patient along with completing necessary paperwork, ran a therapeutic meal, wrote progress notes and group notes, faxed information to collaterals, and wrote an email update to the treatment team.

when i started this internship, if you were to tell me that i would be able to do all of these things in a day without being completely overwhelmed, i don't think i would have believed you.  i realized on the way home that i had accomplished multiple things that used to be so scary, without much extra thought - utilization reviews and family meetings were the most intimidating, although at the very beginning i was nervous about running groups as well.  it is motivating to recognize my growth and feel a sense of competence in my work.  cool how it just works out!

i think i am ready to graduate.

lake quannapowitt

 

we discovered this cool lake just 20 minutes away.

the trail around it was hopping... everyone is loving the warmer weather around here.

so glad we found it at the beginning and not the end of the sunshine season!

what a day!

yesterday was nuts!  completely nuts!

let me tell you all about it...

the day was already chalked up to be a good one.  i had my internship all day and then i had to head to school for my last class of the semester, of grad school, of my life, ever!  ahhhhh!  thursdays have been long days this semester, but this was the last time that i would have to leave my house at 6:40 in the morning and not get home until 9:00 at night.  see? a good day indeed.  to my surprise, before i left my internship, they offered me a job! it was very competitive and i feel incredible lucky to have been chosen.  i still have a lot to learn, but a full time, salaried position, in the field i want, with co-workers i love!  it doesn't get much better.  i couldn't believe it.  i can't believe it!  i accepted the position on the spot in a completely giddy state.  giddy with excitement, relief, nervousness, unbelief, gratitude, all sorts of emotions.  i got a job!  i am going to get paid doing what i love!  i eventually made my way to school, excited to tell my friends about the news (jeremy and my parents had been contacted previously and were all in support).  as i got off the subway to take my usual 10 minute walk to school, the thought came into my mind, "this is the last time i am going to do this."  it was a gorgeous afternoon for such a finale.  the streets were bustling with people because of the red sox game (fenway park is less than a mile away).  blossoming trees and colorful tulips were reaching towards the big blue.  i was taking it all in with mixed emotions thinking, "what a wonderful adventure this has been!"  i snapped this picture before i entered my beautiful school.

once inside, i went straight to the bookstore.  i needed a souvenir, something with "social work" on it, not only simmons college.  a mug, a bumper sticker, or a t-shirt were really all that i had to choose from.  i figured a mug lends itself to more frequent use. it could either be a pencil holder for my future desk i could now envision or be used for nourishment (i have my morning oatmeal in a mug these days, and we all know i love hot chocolate). so it was decided: a mug.  i made my purchase, warmed up my packed leftovers for dinner, and checked my email.  this is where the plot thickens.  i had an email from another job opportunity i had interviewed for that was sent to me 3 hours earlier.  it was short and read something like this, the job is yours if you want it, call my cell.  i was seriously floored.  two offers in one day and on my last day of class!  unreal.  i immediately began going over the pros and cons of each in my head, but wasn't really getting anywhere.  jeremy was in the middle of assisting in the clinic and couldn't be reached, so i called my momma.  sammy was there, too so i chatted it out with him and we decided i wanted the first one more.  i would be happier there.  so it was settled.  i already accepted the one i wanted.  phew!  what a relief! i made the necessary phone call and finished my dinner in time to shuffle off to my last class.  it was a bittersweet ending, as most endings are.  i had friends in my last class that were also in my first class of the program and we couldn't believe it was actually coming to an end.  we made it!  our professor closed class with some beautiful words that made us tear up.  one of his thoughts that stuck out to me was along these lines: we are going into a world that needs healing and we can provide that healing.

i am living my dream.

so close

today i turned in my last paper!

i would send it your way, but you probably wouldn't be interested in an outcome evaluation proposal looking at the effectiveness of exposure therapy in decreasing distorted beliefs about fear foods in a group setting with adults diagnosed with eating disorders.  if it's your thing, then let me know.

i also finished my last process recording (oh hallelujah!) and read that book i was assigned to read. all of these things checked off my to-do list means that i am DONE WITH HOMEWORK!  just one more class tomorrow night and my internship next week.  this is crazy!

catch and release

jeremy returned to my side late wednesday night and was i ever glad to have him home!  i needed a serious hug at that point.  while he was in maryland enjoying his spring break, he made sure to do some fishing in the good ole' gunpowder river.  fishing is his favorite.  lucky for me, he is a catch and release kind of guy.  he doesn't much like eating fish and neither do i, so it works out well.  he sent me this video after hooking one of the many fish he caught: 

 it is real pretty, j.  thanks for sharing!

i just realized...

something splendid.

this is my last weekend of homework!  

how glorious is that?!  this semester, and therefore my graduate schooling, is quickly coming to a close, which is strange and wonderful at the same time. classes end this week and my internship ends the next.  and this is all i have left to do (outside of the regular duties at my internship):

• polish up the paper i finished writing today.  my last one... which i am pleased as punch about!
• read a book - it's a short one... and seems like a good subway read to me.
• write 2 process recordings, which are the bane of my existence. the BANE i say!!

isn't that fun!  an end in sight.  boy, am i feeling good?!  other to do's on the horizon that are not so splendid:

• get a job. hopefully one that i want.
• take the licensing exam, which i am tempted to take without a lick of studying.

hey, one step at a time.  i totally got this.

heroes

calls and texts from our schools woke us up early this morning.  we were told to stay home because of a shooting in cambridge.  my first thought, "here we go again," and i tried to go back to sleep.  but the texts and calls kept rolling in. we quickly found out that while we were sleeping, terror was rampant just 20 minutes away starting in cambridge and moving to watertown: shootings, explosions, car chases, etc.  the city was completely shut down (except of course a few dunkin donuts). as one tweeter mentioned, boston may be the only major city that if you mess with them, they will shut down the whole city, stop everything, and find you. we knew only two things when we woke up: one suspect was dead and one suspect was still on the loose. as the day went on, we didn't get much more information.  it seemed that even 10 hours later we knew just about the same thing: one suspect was dead and one suspect was still on the loose.  we were tethered to the news updates while trying to get homework done, but we had no idea what was happening.  the police force was tirelessly working to find him.  after hours and hours of their meticulous work and community cooperation, we heard the great news... the suspect was in custody!  he's alive and captured.  we can rest easy tonight, boston!  i'm not sure if we will ever find out about all the stories of bravery, acts of incredible kindness, and miracles big and small.  one thing i do know... this city is full of heroes.  

we are boston strong.

love for Boston

the things is, when there is suffering, there is also an outpouring of service and support.  and that is when you learn you can put faith in humanity again.

details of overwhelming acts of kindness here and here.

We are Boston Strong. 

in the city

today was a gorgeous day.  my face is even a little pink from the sun.  in between our classes my friends and i gathered for lunch out on the lawn at school to discuss monday's events.  we talked about where we were, how we found out, who we knew that was directly affected, how awesome boston is with our kick butt hospitals and first responders, the miracles, etc.  after a while, we had to talk about something else.  throughout the day, i noticed that everyone hesitated when answering the question that automatically comes out when you see a friend, "how are you?"  we all know. we are not fine. it was often followed with a more earnest and sincere, "how are you doing?" then we would be together in a moment of heart ache, sharing what words of comfort we had to offer one another.

i decided to ditch the subways on the way home from school and walk the three miles through the city to the bus station.  monday i had to get out of the city, the fear was overwhelming. today was different.  feelings of community and solidarity begged me to stay a little longer, to break from my normal routine.  this was my home.  these were my people.  i tried to prepare myself for the aftermath of the explosions that i would encounter en route, but it was still jarring.  jarring when i saw the first person decked out in tactical gear or when i saw the military hummers lining the streets or when i saw the rows and rows of news reporters with their cameras and bright lights.  police, military, and SWAT teams were everywhere, streets were blockaded.  i'm still not sure if i felt more protected or more vulnerable by their presence.  it was unsettling and a constant reminder that all was not well. i decided to stop by the makeshift memorial that has appeared on boylston, it was only a block from my route.  i found a small crowd of people gathered.  some solemnly standing, some placing flowers or taping signs up, some taking pictures.  all of which was mostly done in silence.  we all knew, this was a sacred place. 

marathon monday

for me, it all started with a curious text from my dad, "are you safe?"

of course i am, i thought to myself.  (luckily, i had to go to my internship today, something that i thought was rather unlucky as i took the subway in this morning.) that's when i found out.  my stomach dropped. my heart instantly ached. explosions at the marathon. explosions in boston. explosions where i stood last year to cheer on the amazing athletes from all over the world. explosions in the place i call home.  explosions in the city i have come to love.

more texts and calls started to roll in from loved ones wondering if i was ok (jeremy was safe and sound in baltimore). as i left my internship i realized that i was scared.  would another bomb go off?  would they target the subway system?  could i make it home?  would i make it home?  i was on the phone with my mom and jeremy trying to figure out the best route home (i was way south of boston and needed to get north of boston).  the subway was really my only option, but i was not really loving that idea.  a taxi would probably get stuck in traffic and would also be a fortune.  some stations had closed down when i got into the city and i was forced to hit the surface streets on foot to make up for the gap in service. what normally would have been a lovely and enjoyable walk became hectic and nerve-wracking.  i wanted out of the city.  i wanted out now.  i passed by a hub of homeland security officers with their beefed up cars and immediately became more scared.  was this some important building?  am i walking by a potential target?  i couldn't make it to my destination and avoid the tourist attractions, every few blocks there is something famous in this lovely city.  i walked quickly with others also rushing around.  as i got back on the subway and rode further and further from the heart of the city the frantic feelings began to dim, but the devastation, the pain, the sadness did not.  it still persists.  the pictures and videos are too much for me.  they bring tears that i'm not sure i am ready for.  i had friends there, i had family there.  that could have been me, easily.  pray for the people that are in pain.  pray for the loved ones of those that have passed on.  pray for the people that witnessed this horror, especially the children.  pray for the first responders, helpers, and other experts still working to save lives.  pray for the people that are scared.  pray that we can sleep tonight.  pray for the people that are trying to keep us safe.  pray for boston, this beautiful place i call home.

runners and rowers

today i ran a 9 miler along the beautiful charles river.

 at times i wasn't certain i was going to make it, but alas my buddies dragged me along. it was a looooong run and boy am i feeling it.  i'm so sore!  i hope i survive the ragnar.  i'm a bit worried about it. we first ran along the boston side and when we crossed the bridge over to the cambridge side we found ourselves at harvard! i loved taking in the sights on the river.  there were runners trotting around in their boston marathon gear, collegiate rowing races complete with a band on the riverside, and beautiful buildings in every direction.  i sure love this town.  

flying solo

it's jeremy's spring break,
which means it's his turn to fly out to see his parents. 

so i'm flying solo for the week.

tonight i...

worked on my last paper of grad school (wish i finished it).

enjoyed a kids meal at chipotle.  best $4.55 spent ever.

wandered around target and dreamed of an endless shoe budget.

caught up on new girl and the office through the good ole internet.

got a chick flick from red box to watch late into the night 

while i munch on cadbury minis.

all the while... i'm missing my boy. 

sibling love

today is national siblings day!

siblings are the BEST.  i just love my little brothers! i remember coming home to visit from college and being so excited to see these two. i sometimes got together with old friends, but i usually just hung out with my bros instead. we did all sorts of fun stuff and still do when we get together. they are my best buds.

here we are. me, sam, and rye in december of 1992.

riley was just a couple months old and looks scared to death of us.

here we are december 2011. nineteen years later.

the last time we were all together before riley left for his mission.

luckily he learned how to fit right in.

we are kind of nuts, but we sure have a good time.

on this day in 1985...

these two love birds got married.

28 years later and my parents are still the best of friends.

i am so glad i got to join in on their fun a few years later.

a blessed day!

conference.  oh what a blessing conference is?!

to be spiritually fed is a wonderful thing.  so many points stood out to me over the past two days.  i can't wait to get the printed talks in the mail so i can pour over them again and again and highlight my favorite parts.

i especially loved this talk by President Uchtdorf for the young women.

am i becoming the person i wanted to become when i pictured my earth life while in the premortal existence?  what a powerful question to ponder!

and i loved Elder Holland's talk, too (so much so, tears were streaming down my face).

hope on.  journey on.  the Lord is on your side.

i could go on and on. they were all so good.  and holy moly, the spirit spoke to my soul and testified of the incredible truths. what a blessed day!  I know God lives.  I am his beloved daughter.  He knows me, He loves me.  He wants me to return to him and He wants the same for you.

one liners

jeremy has a late night studying so i'm just watching my favorite movie (it's been my favorite for YEARS!) and writing down all the things that make me laugh.  yeah.. i know, pretty exciting.

what's up doc? 
 

yes eunice. yes eunice.  yes eunice.
i know how you feel mister, i hate it when my igneous rocks are even touched.
your bell is flat, half a tone off.
oh c'mon steve, buy her the radio.  it's on sale.
my name is not steve.
eunice? there's a person named eunice?
don't you know the meaning of propriety?
who's there? it's me howard bannister, your fiancee.
i don't think of you as a woman eunice.  i think of you as... eunice.
anyone named Howard.
you're upside down, sir.
i'm a lucky dog.
back where we come from everyone calls me burnsey.
but really, music from rocks!
what do you mean you can't find me, i'm right here.
roger.  fritz!
that's the good stuff that's coming!
meet me under the table.
just testing a theory howard has on vocal reverberation under spinal pressure.
charles, what kind of wine are you serving at table 1.
who is that dangerously unbalanced woman?
what's the matter steve?  my name is not steve.
you don't wanna marry someone who's gonna get all wrinkled, lined and flabby!
i have decided that judy and i are going to put you into a home.
i know i'm different, but from now on i'm going to try to be the same.
i think i'm taking a bath, aren't i?
you are the plague, you bring chaos and havoc to everyone.
because you look cute in your pajamas steve.
i have ledge-o-phobia. 
don't count eunice, i hate it when you count.
it came out of the faucet that way, eunice.
why are your rocks in the bathroom?
too much fresh air, dear.  very harmful.
good morning.  no i don't think so.
my fiancee miss sleep is still burning, miss burns is still sleeping.
what on earth are you doing with howard bannister's rocks?
i don't know who he is, but she is definitely not herself!
don't shoot, i'm part italian.
don't kick those rocks you philistine.
don't you dare scream at that brave, unbalanced woman.
c'mon steve you can do it.  my name is howard.
there's not much to see actually, we're inside a chinese dragon. 
this is a terrible thing we're doing.  nonsense, you're gonna love it.
we're only going one way.
look out!  i am looking out.
i don't think we can make it.
that's just the spectators, your honor.
is your honor feeling alright?  no my honor is not feeling alright.
i'd like to send everyone of them to an island somewhere wrapped in heavy chains.
what's the blue one for, judge? i don't know. they're afraid to tell me.
you made me smash my lifesavers!
they tried to molest me.  that's... unbelievable.
watch him like a hawk.
tell them to bring straight jackets. in assorted sizes.
i'm seriously considering setting up a torture chamber.
you have a wife and a fiancee?
let's just skip over this part and move on.
so eunice was there?  no sir, burnsey was there, or rather the one that isn't burnsey.
i think i want to skip over this part, too.
is that clear?  no, but it's consistent.
i intend to get to the bottom of this web of deceit and confusion if it takes me the rest of my life! which may end at any minute.
hello daddy.
i wish you wouldn't tell me about it. you have this way of making everything sound reasonable.
oh goodness me, a chinese dragon.
you're nasty, i don't like you, and i want you to go away.
in separate quarters of course.
bannister, as in "sliding down the-"
listen kiddo, you can't fight a tidal wave.

oh what a great show.  a great show indeed. these are probably only remotely funny to those who have seen the movie... soooo all the more reason for you to see it.  you must!

guess what's in the bag?

a cap, a gown, a hood, a tassel, and a receipt

it only took a quick trip to the bookstore and $82.10 and i am all ready for the big day. well, kind of all ready.  there is a lot of work to be done in the next four weeks, but i think i have a handle on it (although i often vacillate from feeling completely overwhelmed and feeling calm, cool, and collected).  regardless, graduation can't come soon enough.  no homework sounds amazing right now.  absolutely amazing.  though a real job sounds pretty scary.  maybe i will spend the summer at the pool instead of making the big bucks.  jobs can wait, right?

the report

lent ended yesterday and this year i gave up reading strangers' blogs.

here is the report on how i did.

the result:

 there were 1 or 2 days were i checked maybe one blog, but i really did better than i thought.  and how do i feel about it?  it was wonderful. there was a lot less comparing and more enjoying my own life. after giving them all up, i was able to identify which blogs i really missed reading and which ones i could live without.  i found that the ones i missed are the blogs that have a positive impact, that build others.  i am still cutting back on the blog reading, because really... i got stuff to do.