Hello 3rd Trimester

I am 28 weeks and have officially entered the 3rd trimester.  I thought I would document some of my thoughts and feelings on this adventure.

I'm obsessed with names.  I have been since I was in high school when I started an excel spreadsheet of my favorites.  Jeremy on the other hand comes to the table with maybe one name, which also happens to be a name that I will never name my child.  So... I am busy exploring names and matching them with middle names, tactfully presenting them to Jeremy to see if they can be considered, and then making a compelling argument for why it is the best name ever for our baby.  We certainly have different tastes which makes it all the more interesting.  I like not knowing the gender of the babe because that keeps it exciting - all the more names to consider. We have some favorites, which are still a little bit of a moving target, and we plan to meet Baby Clover before deciding on anything.

These days I find that I am mostly grateful.  I am grateful for every kick and nudge, which are getting stronger and more frequent by the day.  They always make me grin.  Sometimes during therapy appointments with my clients I can see my stomach moving in my peripheral vision. I try to grab a quick glance without getting completely distracted by the little one inside.  I love when Jeremy gets to feel the baby move.  He has this most perfect laughing reaction, that combines the weirdness and coolness of it all.  I can't wait to see him holding the baby.  I feel like my heart might burst when that happens.

I am also really grateful that the baby has more time to grow in there.  My life is about to change drastically.  I feel that it will change more than Jeremy's because my day structure will take a dramatic shift, as well as my night structure - who are we kidding, all structure is about to shift.  I am nervous and afraid that I will be a complete mess.  I keep trying to forewarn the people in my life because I know sleep deprivation is no joke.  The things I do will take a lot more planning, preparation, and definitely patience.  I hope I have it in me.  I pray I have it in me.  I dream of mothering with ease and confidence.  It may take quite a while to get there and I hope I can enjoy what that adventure looks like.  I hope I can be compassionate with myself... learning can be so hard.

It has been quite surreal to have my body slowly expand from the inside out.  I can't believe there is a person inside of me.  It's bizarre that my body knows just what to do when it has never done this before.  I really believe that my body is an amazing specimen. Creating life. No big deal. If the baby were to be born right now, it would take all sorts of machines to keep them living and healthy, but with the baby safe in my expanding belly, they have everything they need.  Everything. Surreal, I tell you! I can't help but feel I am part of something heavenly, something sacred.  This is God's work. Creating life. I am soaking in this experience of the divine.