Monday, June 13, 2016

40 Weeks

I have decided that people are pregnant for sooooo long. 
I have been pregnant through pretty much every season.

4.5 weeks in the fall ------ 20 weeks in the winter

28 weeks in the mud* ------ 37 weeks in the spring 

*"Mud season" is the 5 season here in Vermont where everything is muddy in between winter and spring.

And now here I am at 40 weeks...
 ...still technically in the spring.

But summer is a week away and this baby may hang out in there until then anyways and we have had some days in the high 80s, which was kind of miserable as a human incubator, so I am definitely counting it as summer.

Physically, I really do feel great.  I continue to exercise 3-4 times a week, which has really decreased in intensity and usually consists of hiking 1-2 hours or walking 2-4 miles while listening to podcasts about motherhood.  I did manage to do some running in the mountains the other day while hiking because I was just feeling so great.  I continue to sleep pretty well, usually getting up only once to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.  I now do shots of Heparin twice a day, which started at 36 weeks and after I have the baby I have to do 6 weeks of shots of Lovenox once a day.  So I am seeing a light at the end of the tunnel for the daily shots which is just the best!!!  Also - random fact, my belly button is still an innie!

Emotionally, I am somewhere between excited and scared.  Some days more excited, some days more scared.  Today more scared I think, mostly because I had a meltdown last night - you know, about the usual:  How will I adjust?  What if I am crazy?  Hormones & sleep deprivation?  How am I supposed to be a mom?  I don't know what I am doing!  Everyone will leave, how am I supposed to do this by myself?

A few days ago, I jotted down some Motherhood Mantras that I think will be helpful for me on the days when I'm feeling more scared, like today:

This season is so brief and so joyful.
All children learn to sleep.
Newborns really only have a handful of needs.
I can learn my limits and ask for help.
I must consider my own needs so I can be the best mom possible.
Others have survived, I can learn to thrive.
I am not alone, I have amazing supports right and left.
I am a student of Motherhood, learning as I go.

I may write these up this using some brush calligraphy and put them where I can read them on the daily.  Anyways, we are just waiting for this little one to join us Earth side. Who knows when that will be?! I'm only doing my private practice now (dreams come true my friends!!) which I'm taking a break from starting this week.  So I am just enjoying life, going on lots of hikes, and eating lots of ice cream on the couch.  Life is good.  Life is a grand adventure and we are up for the next wild ride!

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