in the city

today was a gorgeous day.  my face is even a little pink from the sun.  in between our classes my friends and i gathered for lunch out on the lawn at school to discuss monday's events.  we talked about where we were, how we found out, who we knew that was directly affected, how awesome boston is with our kick butt hospitals and first responders, the miracles, etc.  after a while, we had to talk about something else.  throughout the day, i noticed that everyone hesitated when answering the question that automatically comes out when you see a friend, "how are you?"  we all know. we are not fine. it was often followed with a more earnest and sincere, "how are you doing?" then we would be together in a moment of heart ache, sharing what words of comfort we had to offer one another.

i decided to ditch the subways on the way home from school and walk the three miles through the city to the bus station.  monday i had to get out of the city, the fear was overwhelming. today was different.  feelings of community and solidarity begged me to stay a little longer, to break from my normal routine.  this was my home.  these were my people.  i tried to prepare myself for the aftermath of the explosions that i would encounter en route, but it was still jarring.  jarring when i saw the first person decked out in tactical gear or when i saw the military hummers lining the streets or when i saw the rows and rows of news reporters with their cameras and bright lights.  police, military, and SWAT teams were everywhere, streets were blockaded.  i'm still not sure if i felt more protected or more vulnerable by their presence.  it was unsettling and a constant reminder that all was not well. i decided to stop by the makeshift memorial that has appeared on boylston, it was only a block from my route.  i found a small crowd of people gathered.  some solemnly standing, some placing flowers or taping signs up, some taking pictures.  all of which was mostly done in silence.  we all knew, this was a sacred place.