Thursday, May 15, 2014

reflecting


this week i celebrated (internally, mostly) having my paid gig for an entire year.  my first real job in the social work field.  i love getting a paycheck, i love not having homework, and most importantly i love what i do. 

the actual year mark (tuesday) happened to be a crazy day.  my schedule was packed full: running therapeutic meals and groups, calling insurance companies, assessing and diagnosing potential clients, making treatment plans with current clients, collaborating with providers, etc.  it was a busy one and i survived. 

when i take a breath and reflect on my busy days (which feel like every day lately), i am sometimes surprised that i can actually do all of those things.  it's like looking at your legs after a long run and taking in the wonder that you know how to use them at all.  learning is pretty cool and i have learned a whole lot in the last year.

day one: i was excited to be right where i knew i was supposed to be and i was ready to embark on the adventure ahead.  i was nervous about the mistakes i would have to make to grow, to learn, and to become better at my job.  i was looking forward to the successes i would experience that make it all worth it and knew that i would have a blast doing what i love with amazing mentors and friends along the way.

here is my desk these days:


it's much different than when i started.  it only had the essentials on day one: computer, phone, sticky notes, pens, and a water bottle (and a big smile!!).

i love capturing what my desk looks like now and comparing it to a year ago. there is much more going on, it's more chaotic.  i would like to think it is some sort of metaphor for the growth i have experienced in the last year.  to me the chaos symbolizes the skills, confidence, and comfort i have cultivated in my work. 

i have grown, and that's all i can ask for and expect of myself.  there are still things i am learning and moments where i completely drop the ball.  the thank you notes and mementos my clients leave for me, keep me going when i feel like a failure.  because it's at those moments, when i feel like i'm breaking, that my learning continues. and i become better than the day before at helping my clients and there families beat eating disorders.

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